I have been seriously dieting since last September. I was on a medically supervised diet for 5 months and lost 58 lbs. In February I quit the diet in order to work on achieving one of my other goals which is owning my own home. With that said, I was hoping to continue losing weight on my own. But this is such a challenge for me!
Thanks to being a winner of the Dr. Pat Bacilli Holistic Makeover contest, I was gifted coaching sessions with several different types of coaches. I have worked with life coach Sharon Roy, http://www.raisinggrace.com/Home_Page.html, and I am currently working with author and millionaire mentor Paul McCormick, http://theauthenticmillionaire.com/. In addition to these two fabulous people I was also gifted 3 sessions with holistic naturopathic nutritionist Beve Kindblade, www.seattlenutrition.com.
The intention was that in working with Beve I could, and would, continue on my weight loss path. But that hasn't worked out as well as I had planned! I am finding that my will power is non-existent. I had a birthday in March and it seems as if it has been non-stop birthday party central ever since with my friends and family celebrating several during the past few weeks. I try, Lord knows, to keep to a diet but it has been so difficult.
Beve is an amazing woman and such a wealth of diet information that it boggles the mind to the point of almost being overwhelming as I try to absorb everything she tells me. She had me go to my regular doctor and get allergy tested. I found, to my amazement, that I have a severe allergy to tomatoes! How bizarre! I'm also allergic to dairy milk so I am trying to adjust to unsweetened almond milk instead. This is hard as well for me as I love my cereal and milk in the morning! But I'm thinking that if I can control my allergies maybe I can control other parts of my diet too! And then, eventually, other aspects of my life.
I guess the deeper problem though is why do I feel the need to eat bad things? If I have cookies or crackers or anything carbs in my house I will eat it. It's like it calls my name in the middle of the night! I can't eat one or two cookies. I have to eat the whole bag. Carbs are not my friend!!! Beve told me that when you crave carbs it is because you aren't eating enough protein. I tend to believe that a little bit because sometimes when I get a craving I grab some cooked chicken and eat it and it helps take the craving away. I do the same thing when I'm craving sweets by grabbing an apple. Sometimes I even bake the apple with cinnamon and nutmeg and I feel like I'm having dessert!
I eat my salad and protein, drinking my water and minding my own business, and then I get side-tracked. A party here, a concert/late night dinner there, a night where I'm stressed or depressed, or just too tired to cook, and before you know it…bam…a piece of cake eaten, a bag of cookies gone, and on and on. And then I feel yucky, my scale is going the wrong direction, and I beat myself up once again.
One of the things I'm realizing about myself is that if I am held accountable to someone I will be more likely stay on the diet. But even having to see Beve this weekend hasn't made behave this time. So that can't be all of it. I have to dig into my soul and try and figure this out. What is my resistance to losing weight? What is my resistance to feeling good? What payoff am I giving myself by eating poorly instead of a beautiful and healthy body? It's such a dilemma to me!