I've been pondering on what my passion and purpose were for most of my life. I have never figured out what I want to be when I grow up. I am passionate about clothes, decorating, beautiful things. But I have never been in a position to use that passion to make a living and I have never had enough money to own many of them.
For many years I thought that my sole (soul) purpose for existing was to give birth to my daughter and that she would grow up to be great and famous. That I was just the instrument for her to come into being almost like the mother Mary and her son Jesus. Sometimes I still feel that way.
Lately I have been thinking and focusing more on how I can find my purpose and meaning through my writing. I want to touch many lives in ways that can change them. There have been so many books and articles that have changed my life and I hope that just one blog or eventually a book of mine can do the same for someone else.
I have found that I enjoy writing. And I think I'm pretty good at it. I always thought that my daughter was the writer. She is the one with the journalism degree. She is the one who is published. She is the one who wrote articles for the newspaper and started a book. She has written in journals since her early teens. She has taken classes and been certified. I haven't done any of that and at age 56 didn't even know I could. I didn't know where to start even.
Thanks to Dr Pat for having us makeover winners start blogs as it made me a lot more self-confident and also made me realize I do have a voice and something to say. My throat chakra is singing! And as I write more and more I find myself more passionate about my voice. That's joylicious!
Monday, December 27, 2010
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
Christmas Memories~
During this holiday season it's hard not to get mired down in the festivities of parties, gift giving, and dinners and remember the real reason for the holiday. The birth of the baby Jesus. A rebirth of the new year to come. Hope and excitement for new experiences.
I have many memories associated with different Christmases that conjure up pictures in my mind of seasons past. One of the hardest for me this year was wrapping presents without the "help" of my kitty Charlie. Even though I have two other cats they could have cared less what I was doing in the spare bedroom! The present wrapping and decorating of the tree always held such fascination for Charlie. He would chase after the ribbon and chew it to pieces. He would play hide and seek in the tissue paper ripping it to shreds as he would wiggle his rear end and jump into a pile of it as it slid across the floor. I would find bows under the couch six months after the holiday.
One year I found a cashmere sweater completely unwrapped. Twice. I finally had to hide it because, for some reason, the attraction to the smell and feel of that sweater was just too much for him to resist. And don't get me started on the ornaments and tree climbing. I have almost all hand blown glass ornaments and he would decide to play what I would call his "kitty in the jungle" game where he would hide in the bushes, or in this case the Christmas tree, and jump out at whoever walked by. Not good when everything around him was so breakable!
I also have wonderful memories of my stepmother and how she worked so hard each year for every one of her children and grandchildren to have a wonderful holiday experience. She set the dinner table with her best china and silverware. When we were younger, and there were less of us, she and my father would buy each one of us a special Christmas ornament and set it on our dinner plates waiting for us to arrive. There was always a beautiful center piece, pretty napkins, and candles lit. We would come into the dining room and look at her gorgeous handiwork and everyone would be filled with admiration and glee. And the delicious dinner that was always the same no matter how much her and dad might want something different. Ham, Shirley Shaw potatoes, green bean casserole and pistachio salad. Yum...can't wait! We still have almost the identical meal because no one ever gets tired of it.
I have memories of laughter at work. One year all of us in the office had a decorating contest with the press operators. We covered every window with lights. Decorated a Christmas tree. Hung ornaments and decorations throughout the pressroom office. I remember one of my co-workers and I turning off the overhead lights and sitting by the glow of all the multi-colored lights working and laughing. This year there are no presents, no laughter, no sharing. Almost no lights other than on my desk and the tree looks bedraggled and sad. It's hard when time and circumstances change!
And most of all, I have memories of my daughter on Christmas morning. Waiting anxiously for her to get up. No early riser my sleepy headed little girl! I would finally have to go into the bedroom and wake her up so that we would have time to open presents and eat breakfast before we had to leave for family functions. I always thought it was so funny that when I was small my sisters, brother and I would be up at the crack of dawn wanting to run into the living room and see what Santa brought us and open presents. My mom..er I mean Santa..would put our stockings on the end of our beds so that we would have something to open and look at and candy to eat and, hopefully, allow her (and dad when he lived with us) to sleep in to a somewhat reasonable hour.
I'm sure everyone has their holiday traditions and memories. Good and bad. Happy and sad. I'm trying to focus on the good ones this year. I keep feeling myself trying to slip back into old ways and sadness for what has gone by. But I know the future is so bright and shiny that it can only be a joylicious holiday!
I have many memories associated with different Christmases that conjure up pictures in my mind of seasons past. One of the hardest for me this year was wrapping presents without the "help" of my kitty Charlie. Even though I have two other cats they could have cared less what I was doing in the spare bedroom! The present wrapping and decorating of the tree always held such fascination for Charlie. He would chase after the ribbon and chew it to pieces. He would play hide and seek in the tissue paper ripping it to shreds as he would wiggle his rear end and jump into a pile of it as it slid across the floor. I would find bows under the couch six months after the holiday.
One year I found a cashmere sweater completely unwrapped. Twice. I finally had to hide it because, for some reason, the attraction to the smell and feel of that sweater was just too much for him to resist. And don't get me started on the ornaments and tree climbing. I have almost all hand blown glass ornaments and he would decide to play what I would call his "kitty in the jungle" game where he would hide in the bushes, or in this case the Christmas tree, and jump out at whoever walked by. Not good when everything around him was so breakable!
I also have wonderful memories of my stepmother and how she worked so hard each year for every one of her children and grandchildren to have a wonderful holiday experience. She set the dinner table with her best china and silverware. When we were younger, and there were less of us, she and my father would buy each one of us a special Christmas ornament and set it on our dinner plates waiting for us to arrive. There was always a beautiful center piece, pretty napkins, and candles lit. We would come into the dining room and look at her gorgeous handiwork and everyone would be filled with admiration and glee. And the delicious dinner that was always the same no matter how much her and dad might want something different. Ham, Shirley Shaw potatoes, green bean casserole and pistachio salad. Yum...can't wait! We still have almost the identical meal because no one ever gets tired of it.
I have memories of laughter at work. One year all of us in the office had a decorating contest with the press operators. We covered every window with lights. Decorated a Christmas tree. Hung ornaments and decorations throughout the pressroom office. I remember one of my co-workers and I turning off the overhead lights and sitting by the glow of all the multi-colored lights working and laughing. This year there are no presents, no laughter, no sharing. Almost no lights other than on my desk and the tree looks bedraggled and sad. It's hard when time and circumstances change!
And most of all, I have memories of my daughter on Christmas morning. Waiting anxiously for her to get up. No early riser my sleepy headed little girl! I would finally have to go into the bedroom and wake her up so that we would have time to open presents and eat breakfast before we had to leave for family functions. I always thought it was so funny that when I was small my sisters, brother and I would be up at the crack of dawn wanting to run into the living room and see what Santa brought us and open presents. My mom..er I mean Santa..would put our stockings on the end of our beds so that we would have something to open and look at and candy to eat and, hopefully, allow her (and dad when he lived with us) to sleep in to a somewhat reasonable hour.
I'm sure everyone has their holiday traditions and memories. Good and bad. Happy and sad. I'm trying to focus on the good ones this year. I keep feeling myself trying to slip back into old ways and sadness for what has gone by. But I know the future is so bright and shiny that it can only be a joylicious holiday!
Thursday, December 9, 2010
Affirmation
This is from my fabulous friend Kathy, aka KD, one of the Dr. Pat Holistic Makeover winners. I wanted to share it with you! ~Kat
"Thought I'd share an affirmation from my mom's Swami. A friend of mine recently died and it was read at a Big Chill type of gathering that we had. He used to meditate upon it every day. He had severe rheumatoid arthritis and it helped him survive many years after he had contemplated checking out due to the pain. Even though I like it, it talks about negative stuff which in a way I think contributes to it sticking around in consciousness...but nevertheless much of it is powerful and uplifing. - KD"
Daily Affirmation
"Thought I'd share an affirmation from my mom's Swami. A friend of mine recently died and it was read at a Big Chill type of gathering that we had. He used to meditate upon it every day. He had severe rheumatoid arthritis and it helped him survive many years after he had contemplated checking out due to the pain. Even though I like it, it talks about negative stuff which in a way I think contributes to it sticking around in consciousness...but nevertheless much of it is powerful and uplifing. - KD"
Daily Affirmation
From now on I shall consciously control the emotional force which lies hidden deep within me.
I shall not allow the thought of sickness, failure or any other negative mental state to rule.
I shall reject all hampering and harmful suggestions of other people.
I am strong, courageous, and competent.
My memory and will power are increasing day by day.
I face this day with faith in the Infinite Mind in me, faith in Myself, faith in the Law of the Mind.
This period of silent meditation, about the truth of my real self, will keep me poised and serene during this day no matter what happens in my outer world.
I am greater than any outside event, stronger than any situation, master of any circumstance.
I will not be dejected; I have immeasurable strength and power within.
There is a glorious future awaiting me.
I shall face all difficulty with a smile.
Pain is the real eye opener and guide.
I shall never be despondent; ever I will laugh, jump, or smile.
Tuesday, December 7, 2010
Forgiveness
How do you forgive someone who has "done you wrong"? I've been thinking about that lately. From what you thought was a slight of someone you thought was a friend to a virus unleashed on your computer that cost money, time, and is an inconvenience to fix. From the theft of a Christmas present from your front doorstep by a stranger to the more serious offense I heard about in Bremerton yesterday where someone caused problems in an entire neighborhood by slashing over 100 car tires.
All of these are fixable problems. But they cause pain, upset and often money that people these days don't have. They aren't as bad as say, a drunk driving death or murder. But still, they hurt and cause not only physical damage but harm to that thing we call ego.
How do we forgive that random act of unkindness? That faceless person who has hurt us? I have been trying to bless the person who hurt me recently. I'm sending them forgiving thoughts and prayers. I'm hoping they needed and/or are enjoying my daughter's Christmas present. It all turned out ok for me. But what about people who are really hurt? The people in Bremerton who can't afford new tires right now or couldn't go to work today because they had no transportation? Or the person who gets a virus on their computer while they are looking for work and have to scramble to find a computer to file their unemployment claims?
This email came from Abraham this morning, "It is your rules that make unlawful beings. You would get along better if you would just trust each other to treat each other appropriately, but you don't. So you keep making laws -- until you make criminals of everyone."
So do we have to be wary of everyone and everything? Do we truly make criminals of each other even when we are just living our life and minding our own business? I love Abraham but I'm having a hard time with this one. I want to trust others and treat them appropriately but when we are hurt we tend to want to lash out. I was angry and upset yesterday but I just kept repeating over and over, "I forgive you. I forgive you." and I started to feel better. I have no idea who I was forgiving but I had to release my hurt and it was the only thing I could think of to do. That and put it into God's hands.
I feel like I'm rambling today. Not sure what direction I wanted this to take but wanted to share some of my thoughts. Please chime in if you have any insight or suggestions. Sometimes I have a hard time figuring out the joylicious stuff!
Oh, and it all turned out OK for me. I called the company where I purchased the gift and they are resending the entire order at no charge. How fantastic is that? I praise their customer service immensely and if you want to know who they are ask. I can't write it on here because my daughter reads my blogs!! Maybe that's where my joylicious life comes in. I know I will have a wonderful Christmas no matter what and I'm thinking that there are some people out there who will have troubled minds that day. God bless them.~
All of these are fixable problems. But they cause pain, upset and often money that people these days don't have. They aren't as bad as say, a drunk driving death or murder. But still, they hurt and cause not only physical damage but harm to that thing we call ego.
How do we forgive that random act of unkindness? That faceless person who has hurt us? I have been trying to bless the person who hurt me recently. I'm sending them forgiving thoughts and prayers. I'm hoping they needed and/or are enjoying my daughter's Christmas present. It all turned out ok for me. But what about people who are really hurt? The people in Bremerton who can't afford new tires right now or couldn't go to work today because they had no transportation? Or the person who gets a virus on their computer while they are looking for work and have to scramble to find a computer to file their unemployment claims?
This email came from Abraham this morning, "It is your rules that make unlawful beings. You would get along better if you would just trust each other to treat each other appropriately, but you don't. So you keep making laws -- until you make criminals of everyone."
So do we have to be wary of everyone and everything? Do we truly make criminals of each other even when we are just living our life and minding our own business? I love Abraham but I'm having a hard time with this one. I want to trust others and treat them appropriately but when we are hurt we tend to want to lash out. I was angry and upset yesterday but I just kept repeating over and over, "I forgive you. I forgive you." and I started to feel better. I have no idea who I was forgiving but I had to release my hurt and it was the only thing I could think of to do. That and put it into God's hands.
I feel like I'm rambling today. Not sure what direction I wanted this to take but wanted to share some of my thoughts. Please chime in if you have any insight or suggestions. Sometimes I have a hard time figuring out the joylicious stuff!
Oh, and it all turned out OK for me. I called the company where I purchased the gift and they are resending the entire order at no charge. How fantastic is that? I praise their customer service immensely and if you want to know who they are ask. I can't write it on here because my daughter reads my blogs!! Maybe that's where my joylicious life comes in. I know I will have a wonderful Christmas no matter what and I'm thinking that there are some people out there who will have troubled minds that day. God bless them.~
Saturday, December 4, 2010
Comfort and Joy
This morning I drove to Snohomish to get my hair done. It was early and the sun was just starting to peak out from behind the Cascade mountains. As I drove down Highway 9 through the quiet icy morning I marveled at the beautiful white fields and trees covered with frost. It was so glistening and perfect! Untouched by humans this early in the day. The mountains sparkled with their snow caps reflecting the sun. Mount Baker completely white with the blue backdrop of the sky looked amazing. Even the airplanes on Harvey Field looked pretty with their different colors against the white of the frost.
There were very few cars on the road and as I drove I kept thinking how good life currently has been. I passed a strip mall and there was a sign above it that said, "Comfort and Joy". I think it was supposed to be for a hotel but I loved the simple message that was sent to me this day. I have comfort and joy in my life and it's good. Simple but good. Joylicious~
Footnote (evening) - I was perusing some ads tonight on craigslist and one jumped out at me! The title of it was "comfort and joy"! My angels are working overtime. It's a little freaky but soooo cool!~
There were very few cars on the road and as I drove I kept thinking how good life currently has been. I passed a strip mall and there was a sign above it that said, "Comfort and Joy". I think it was supposed to be for a hotel but I loved the simple message that was sent to me this day. I have comfort and joy in my life and it's good. Simple but good. Joylicious~
Footnote (evening) - I was perusing some ads tonight on craigslist and one jumped out at me! The title of it was "comfort and joy"! My angels are working overtime. It's a little freaky but soooo cool!~
Friday, December 3, 2010
Lightness of Being
Every day I feel lighter and lighter. As I go through the process of shedding pounds on my body I feel like I'm shedding my skin and my old life too. I'm becoming lighter and lighter in my heart. The fat is melting away and the anger, sadness and unease are melting with it. Instead of looking at life negatively and always on the down side I'm look at it more clearly. Colors are more vibrant. Laughter is more precious. Life is becoming a joy again. My step is easier and my eyes sparkle with health and enthusiasm at what happens next.
I'm feeling excited about the new direction my life has been taking. Yesterday morning I called the Dr. Pat Show, www.thedrpatshow.com, to speak with her guest Sue Storm, The Angel Lady. I asked her who my angels are around me. She told me that my angels are excited for me right now. She said they told her I have a lot going on right now and new opportunities are coming. I completely agree! She said I have the angels Lorena, who represents divine grace, and Jacob, who represents education. She told me I still have more to learn but in easy fun ways not as lessons. She also told me my archangel is Gabriel who is the angel of messages and communication. So funny since I write a blog and am starting a website!
She asked if I had a question for my angels. Of course, I had to ask, "Why was I told to purchase a website domain name?" She said three words, "Expand, expand, expand." She also said, "Put your heart into it as your soul is already there and you will be a success! All I could think was, YES! Expand my life, expand my blog, expand my joyliciousness.
But what a dichotomy this is for me! As I shed the weight and as I shed the old life, I expand and expand and expand in the new one! I have no idea what direction I'm going but I'm trusting the angels will take me there happily and safely. So so joylicious!
I'm feeling excited about the new direction my life has been taking. Yesterday morning I called the Dr. Pat Show, www.thedrpatshow.com, to speak with her guest Sue Storm, The Angel Lady. I asked her who my angels are around me. She told me that my angels are excited for me right now. She said they told her I have a lot going on right now and new opportunities are coming. I completely agree! She said I have the angels Lorena, who represents divine grace, and Jacob, who represents education. She told me I still have more to learn but in easy fun ways not as lessons. She also told me my archangel is Gabriel who is the angel of messages and communication. So funny since I write a blog and am starting a website!
She asked if I had a question for my angels. Of course, I had to ask, "Why was I told to purchase a website domain name?" She said three words, "Expand, expand, expand." She also said, "Put your heart into it as your soul is already there and you will be a success! All I could think was, YES! Expand my life, expand my blog, expand my joyliciousness.
But what a dichotomy this is for me! As I shed the weight and as I shed the old life, I expand and expand and expand in the new one! I have no idea what direction I'm going but I'm trusting the angels will take me there happily and safely. So so joylicious!
Thursday, December 2, 2010
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