Why is it that when we are feeling the most overwhelmed, frustrated, or scared, instead of tackling the problem head on we choose to shut down? I am overwhelmed at work. Hardly a minute to breathe I’m so busy. I come home and I have 2 new magazines in the mailbox (although one of them is Oprah’s and it’s her makeover edition so I’m excited about that) but it means lots of reading and I stick them on the pile of already waiting magazines. I have a part of last Sunday’s paper on the table with an article I’m really interested in closely reading as it pertains to big changes in my neighborhood. I have at least 5 books on my nightstand begging for attention including Geneen Roth’s new book on weight and God. Cats wanting to be fed, a blog to write, emails to answer, bills to pay, laundry, etc. and all I want to do is sit down and watch television. Or play computer games.
But even sitting down to watch the TV is stressing me out. I just got a new dvr and I am already overwhelmed with the amount of shows I have waiting to watch as days go by and I don’t have time to even sit down and enjoy them. And I think to myself that all of these stressors are self-inflicted. I don’t really have to do any of these things. But I want to do all of them! I want to spend a week reading, writing, organizing, and just being still. But instead I just go, go, go.
As I write this I am looking out the window at the beautiful pink, purple and red sunset and thinking I should walk down to the river that is at the end of my driveway. Find some peace and solitude. Enjoy the tranquility of the warm night as the water lazily flows downstream. I take a deep breath and calm my mind and myself and I know everything will get done when it’s supposed to and not a minute sooner. There is peace in procrastination. Joylicious!