I got up this morning with the intention of posting a blog that I had written yesterday about my ex. But after several conversations over the weekend regarding writing a blog and it being such a public forum I reread what I had written and just couldn't do it today.
Why is it that when we start to feel healthy or that we are on a path to happiness and well-being we start to doubt ourselves? We second-guess our decisions, statements, and actions? Even in my blog about my father I found myself editing what I had written and deleting several paragraphs. Deciding there were things I couldn't share so publicly. I know I need to purge my past to move forward into the future but is there a better way to do it?
I think all of us have good days and bad days. I'm already dreading today and this week at work and it's only 8am on Monday morning! With no managers during the day, an FMLA day with my father tomorrow, filling in for an assistant who is on vacation this week, and dealing with an executive who is very challenging, I'm already stressed and overwhelmed before I've begun. Deep breathing, stretching, meditating, letting the gold dust fall over the room. All techniques that have always worked for me. But today they don’t seem to be helping.
A comment was also made to me this weekend that the things I’ve shared on this blog aren’t normally things I talk about to anyone. Ever. So the fact I’m trying to be open and honest and really learn and grow from this experience and how uncomfortable I am today really tells me that something is happening.
I will plaster a smile on my face and greet the day and week as optimistically as possible. I will overcome the butterflies in my stomach. I am a strong, vibrant woman. As Louise Hay says, “Out of this situation only good will come”.
Everyone have a joylicious Monday! I know I will!