Friday, November 12, 2010

A Joyful Noise

When you are in the middle of caregiving, or the middle of stress and drama, or the middle of life's ups and downs, how do you find your joyful self?  How do you find your bliss or joyliciousness?  Or at least a quiet place where you can feel OK?  I struggle with this all the time.

Is it putting a smile on your face regardless of how you really feel?  I'm sure you've heard the expression "fake it until you make it".  Is it curling up inside yourself and going off into a corner so you don't inflict your negativity or depression on others?  Is it hibernating in your room or going for solitary walks?  Meditation?  Friends?

A common answer is that you focus on others or reach out to others instead of dwelling on your own problems.  But if you are already stretched to the limits with helping others or unable to set boundaries doesn't that sometimes compound the problem?

It amazes me how many times each day we ask others, "how are you?" and we get a pat response of "great!" even if the person doesn't really feel that way.  Or if you were to actually tell the other person how you truly felt when they asked do they REALLY want to know?  Or is it just as automatic to ask "how" someone is as it is to say "great"?  I remember testing that theory out a few times and the person's eyes glazed over or looked like they wished they hadn't asked.  So I just respond "fabulous!" regardless of how I really feel.

Another question I ask myself is what would bring me joy or what do I think would bring me joy?  Is it a mate?  A different job?  Owning my own home?  Enough money?  Or is it just peace of mind.  Contentment.  Loving others with my whole heart and being loved in return.  And I realize it's not things that bring me joy it's feelings.  It's taking care of myself as no one else can because I know myself best.  Listening to my heart's needs and wants and fulfilling them for myself.  In that way I can then pass that joy on and that would in turn make me happier.  It's a lovely circle of life.  Joylicious~

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